Recouping when we get needy
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 30, 2016
We all have our go-tos when we get needy.
Some run to friends while others fork over a counselor’s co-pay. Houses of worship attract the needy as do the bars. Even the acupuncturist can have all the answers.
When I’m needy, I hit the psychic and the Reiki master.
And last week, I was needy.
My first go-to
I sat in front of Zachari VanDyne, clairsentient and director of CasaShanti. I folded my arms over my chest and sulked like a petulant child who didn’t get her way (because I didn’t get my way).
Zachari just smiled and shrugged while he read my Tarot and said, “I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.”
And he wasn’t. When we’re at our neediest, we don’t need anything. We’ve just forgotten the universe is infinite, so our needs, all of them, are always met.
There is no needy.
There’s nothing anyone can say because what we already know is the only thing that makes sense. No one can rescue us because we are the only ones who can save ourselves.
When we’re needy, we only need to access our own power.
Restore the spirit
When I got home from CasaShanti, I could still feel the lock of my folded arms across my heart. I needed to reopen myself to possibility, to the infinite.
I put a block at the top of my mat as if it were a pillow. I placed a bolster on the edge of the block to make a capital T. I draped a folded blanket over the bolster.
I lay back on the T, my head supported by the blanket and block, the bolster padded by a blanket along my spine. My seat wasn’t on the bolster but on the floor. I brought the soles of my feet to touch, and wrapped a third blanket, rolled long in a C, under my thighs.
I added an eye pillow, and, with every breath, I inhaled the light.
My second go-to
Shakti Barnhill, massage therapist and Reiki master, set up her table in my living room. After she worked on me for an hour, I lay on my back, stretching my heart, reaching for the infinite I knew could wipe the sulk from my face.
Shakti dripped an essential oil combination of basil, grapefruit, lavender, peppermint and marjoram into her hands and began to massage my heart center.
“What is it you need?” she whispered.
Although I hadn’t known for weeks, I whispered back immediately, “I want to know unconditional love.”
“When haven’t you lived that?” She probed deeper into my heart.
“What else?” she asked.
I felt the lock begin to release.
“I want happiness, patience and peace,” I said.
“When haven’t you exuded that,” she told me.
I could feel the oil’s heat moving through my skin, expanding my ribs, and my heart began to beat faster.
I didn’t want to say it, but I did: “I want to know God.”
“I’ll have to get back to you on that,” and we laughed.
After Shakti left, I returned to my block, bolster and blankets.
I rebuilt the capital T with the block and bolster. This time, I stacked a folded blanket on top of the block for my pillow. I topped the bolster with another folded blanket. I took Child’s Pose on the T and tucked another folded blanket under my seat.
I had reached out enough. I had to surrender inward.
I remembered the words of the ancient seers: Brahman is the only truth, the world is unreal, and there is ultimately no difference between Brahman and Atman, individual self.
All of my needs were met.