Monthly Archives: August 2017

There are problems with apologies

There are problems with apologies
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 15, 2017

People are going to hurt us, intentionally or unintentionally.

Ask yourself:  “Can I move on if an apology never arrives?”  If you are spiritually fit, the answer is yes.

We are hardwired for stories.  Life episodes and world events do not have discernable beginnings, middles and ends.  They are all cyclones of nebulous causes and effects.  Our brains superimpose narrative, conflict, heroes and villains.  It’s the only way life makes sense, and we want our lives to make sense.

If you create a story where you play the victim, it’s your call. Just remember, it’s a fiction, and the person you believed harmed you is usually doing the same confabulation dance.

We all want our worlds to be positive places. Even when our behavior is less than desirable, we will find ways to justify it.  It’s how we remain heroes.  It’s how we live with ourselves.

To Know Thyself, take an inventory of your own apologies.  How often did you say, “I’m sorry” because, after introspection, you sincerely regretted your uncalled for, bad behavior?  Such apologies are done in the noble quest of repairing a relationship. Continue reading

Dragging the shark

Dragging the Shark
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 8, 2017

That shark video is tantalizing.

It wasn’t the brutality of four young men mirthfully dragging a shark behind their speeding boat only to spread its shredded body over social media. It wasn’t the naked viciousness appealing to our prurient, taboo shadow sides.

That video offered all of us an invitation to join the mob of snarling dogs hell-bent on punishing, shaming and threatening. When it comes to reinforcing our fragile egos, these fishermen were freebies, and we joined the pile on.

Resist. Resist. Resist.

Mobs are dragnets.  It’s tough to decline the sanctimonious, righteous, superior and so, so right party invitation. Attend a different party with a theme of Know Thyself.   Continue reading

When grief takes over the body and heart

When grief takes over the body
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 2, 2017

I wouldn’t know an emotion if I tripped over it.

I’m a mind person, a Jnana yogi.  If anyone asks me how I’m feeling, my response never fails to begin, “I think…”

As body people seek outlets in the emotions, and emotional people find refuge in the mind, intellectuals bury their stuff in the body.

I know this to be true because I am at war with my back.

It’s not new.  Upon close inspection of my high school prom picture, my seventeen-year-old left shoulder is noticeably higher than my right.  It’s riddled with muscle knots.  It’s where my emotions have always hidden. Continue reading