Monthly Archives: August 2016

Recouping when we get needy

Recouping when we get needy
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 30, 2016

 We all have our go-tos when we get needy.

Some run to friends while others fork over a counselor’s co-pay.  Houses of worship attract the needy as do the bars. Even the acupuncturist can have all the answers.

When I’m needy, I hit the psychic and the Reiki master.

And last week, I was needy. Continue reading

Eight ways to make peace with your reputation

Eight ways to make peace with your reputation
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 23, 2016

 Policing my reputation exhausted me.  So, I stopped.

It wasn’t easy.  If I ever got wind of trash talk, I fixated, analyzed and set people straight.

“No one is going to talk about ME that way.”

But, in order to preserve my own sanity, I had to retire from reputation maintenance.

My steps

First.  I realized my reputation isn’t a garment I wear.  I don’t move through my life in a cloud of reputation, like Pig Pen in a Peanuts cartoon.

My reputation is beyond my grasp, ethereal, collectively constructed by others.  It’s a dinner party, and I wasn’t invited.

Second. I am not my persona.

When I consume myself with how I appear to others, it’s attachment to a ghost.

My reputation is a stranger comprised of cherry-picked anecdotes filtered through the perceptions and biases of others.

Addiction to the ego is the most challenging one to break.  With enough courage, one can do without a reputation, Rhett Butler famously quipped.

Let the stranger be. Continue reading

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

When meanness is the only option
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 16, 2016

We’ve all said it.

We were in a pinch when we didn’t like what someone was doing.  We became uncomfortable, so we lashed out.

We got mean with a comment, dirty look or hanging up on someone.

Then, someone called us out for being cruel, and we said, “I didn’t know what else to do.” Continue reading

Four lessons learned about life while driving across the country

Four lessons learned about life while driving across the country
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 9, 2016

 1. Strangers are easy.

 On July 1st, I began a 32-day Odyssey across America.

From the driver’s seat, I set an intention: “I am open to every person and every experience.”  It was my mantra for 7,000 miles.

With every stranger, I dumped the chit-chat and opted for honesty.  When people asked me why I was driving across the country, I said, “I want to change.”

This was Road Therapy. Continue reading

Meditate on the lotus

Meditate on the lotus
By Nancy B. Loughlin
Published in News Press on August 2, 2016

While navigating tough times, you remind yourself, “This, too, shall pass.”

When it’s all over, you will be transformed, new.

But the passing can be agony.

At these moments, meditate on the lotus.

The Lotus

In many cultures and spiritual traditions, the lotus flower is sacred.

This colorful flower moves through dark, murky waters to finally blossom on the surface.  It symbolizes patience, perseverance, grace and, more importantly, rebirth.

Lotus Pose

It’s yoga’s poster child pose.

In the full expression, you sit cross-legged with the feet on top of the opposite thighs.  The knees fall open to the floor like petals and the spine is straight.

For many, this expression is impossible due to tight hips and sensitive knees.  Beginners may choose to do half Lotus with only one foot on the thigh.  Yet, even this can be painful.

Try this:  Sit on several folded blankets, a block, meditation pillow or a bolster.  Get your seat high enough so when you sit cross legged, your knees fall open to the floor, and your back remains straight.  Open the angle of your thighs wide enough so your feet are in front of you rather than under your thighs.

Om Mani Padme Hum

Often considered the mantra that captures the totality of enlightenment, it’s difficult to translate.

Om mani padme hum, loosely interpreted as “Behold the jewel in the lotus,” is a mantra of insight, a call to separate from the ego, to experience oneness and to forsake attachment.

As you sit in your version of Lotus, close your eyes and touch your thumbs to the tips of your index fingers in Chin Mudra, the mudra of knowledge

Chant om mani padme hum as you navigate your journey through the mud to surface, where will you will emerge clean.


Continue reading